“Too Much” → Powerful Presence
Let’s kick this off with a fun story:
I’ve always had a bit of a “wild side.” And I’m not talking about the Mötley Crüe song.
When I was in kindergarten at a little California Montessori school, I got kicked out of class for losing my temper. I don’t even remember what set me off, but I do remember tearing through the class closet and throwing books like a tiny tornado.
Tiny Kimi. Tiny storm.
That moment kind of set the tone for how people saw me growing up. I was the kid who “had a lot of energy.” The one who felt things deeply, spoke fast, and acted before she thought.
By junior high, a friend’s mom told my mom she should medicate me — said I was too wild, too much to handle.
Then came adulthood, and the phrases changed but the message stayed the same.
Too bubbly.
Too emotional.
Too fast.
Too passionate.
You get the idea.
For a long time, I tried to shrink it all down. I softened my edges so I could blend in — in school, in relationships, even in business. I thought I needed to tone down who I was to be taken seriously.
Here’s what I eventually figured out: What other people call too much usually just means they’ve never met someone who owns that much power in one body.
Being “too much” isn’t a flaw. It’s evidence of presence.
When you walk into a room and people feel something, that’s not a problem — it’s a signal. It’s energy. And energy isn’t meant to be managed; it’s meant to be mastered.
In NLP, we talk about “states” — the energy or emotion you’re in when you communicate. Most people suppress theirs to avoid judgment. But when you learn to anchor the right state, you stop hiding and start leading.
That’s the difference between being reactive and being radiant.
When I started my first business, I thought professionalism meant calm and neutral. I watched “polished” people and tried to sound like them.
The result? My voice got smaller. My spark dimmed.
I was praised for being composed, but I felt fake — like I was performing a role I didn’t audition for.
Then one day, my mentor looked at me and said, “You’re good, but you sound like a robot. Stop performing. Just be you.”
I wanted to argue. But he was right… I’d been mimicking success instead of embodying it.
When I finally let myself show up as me — expressive, passionate, a little extra — people connected. I connected.
I didn’t just get better at sales. I got better at being me.
In coaching, we say, “The meaning of your communication is the response you get.”
If people seem uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean your energy is wrong. It might just mean it’s unframed.
“Too much” energy without direction can overwhelm.
“Too much” energy with intention can inspire.
The goal isn’t to dim the light. It’s to aim it.
Ask yourself: What if this isn’t a problem to fix, but a power to focus?
Find one place this week to show up with that energy… on purpose.
Don’t shrink it. Shape it.
Presence starts with permission. Your permission.
Powerful presence isn’t about taking up more space.
It’s about filling the space that’s already yours.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re exactly enough to move the room.
About the Author
Kimiko Donahue is a Master Practitioner of NLP, MER®, and Hypnosis, and the founder of Press Play Coaching, where she helps professionals reframe their stories, rebuild confidence, and show up with presence and purpose.
Want to keep the conversation going?
Join the Reframe Room — it’s free, supportive, and full of people doing the work.
Connect with Kimi:
Facebook | LinkedIn | Join The Reframe Room